The Fellowship of 14A has already started to fragment, as a few people haven't come along.
I took a look back at some of my earlier posts in this blog, and saw some references to my personal journey that I was hoping for from a Raleigh expedition, and I've tried to show that I have been on a personal journey by writing about the things I've been thinking about along the way. I'm not sure I've really done that in the past few posts.
The six and a half hour bus journey, and generally having some time to reflect about what I've gotten out of Raleigh was useful. Having done the corporate report of how my job went here, I thought maybe it would be good to write a kind of a personal report.
What I learned about myself...
- Employability: I'm good enough to be considered for jobs I would have dismissed as paying too much four months ago. That sounds greedy, but it will make such a difference to me in what else I want to achieve.
- The world: I love adventure and I forgot that. The world has beautiful sights and people. I want to experience more of it and them. That's where the more money comes in.
- Rocks: Even at the age of 30, I love jumping across rocks in rivers. If there is a river with rocks sticking out of it, I will jump across them.
- Oasis: Even after 19 or so years, Oasis are still my favourite band.
- Nirvana: Nirvana are still comforting when I feel alone and like an outsider in a group.
- Organised fun: Seriously, trying to make people do stuff on the basis that "everybody else is doing it" is just peer pressure and bullying. I don't respond well to bullying. Mostly because I won't be bullied. I've already extensively discussed the matter.
What beliefs have been reinforced...
- Dickheads: There's an awful lot of dickheads about. Don't mind them.
- Privacy: I knew I was precious about privacy. I knew I'd struggle with that aspect of the experience. But people coming over and reading the personal email you're in the middle of typing to your mother? And me being in the wrong for being upset by this intrusive behaviour? Not an organisation I want to be involved with. See my previous point re: dickheads.
- Technology: I'm so grateful for the technology I have and use.
- Friends: I'm grateful for a small group of close friends above lots of people for the sake of lots of people. I also don't need to have people around me all the time, and I find alone time incredibly important.
- Booze: I don't need booze to have a good time. But it helps.
What I'll do after Raleigh...
- Cooperative music promotions: I've had an idea for a cooperative/credit union for Birmingham's unsigned musicians for ages now. My brief visit to the cooperative in Achuapa has inspired me to get moving on that.
- Couchsurf: surely kindness to random travellers exists with people who are just kind and not necessarily Costa Rican.
- Tico kindness: Extend the Tico sense of warmth and generosity as much as possible.
- Scouts: Well, I've been saying that since the assessment weekend for Raleigh. Apart from that wonderful weekend of regression back to my Scouting days I actually feel like I have something to share with young people.
- Brookvale Park: That's the park at the end of my road. I helped with some community volunteering there, but that's fallen over. It would be nice to see if there's more I can get involved with.
- Travel: Not even outside the UK, just go see things. Specifically outdoors. Remind myself of the stars every now and then.
Despite struggles with people and me, I don't think this has been a bad personal journey. I'm feeling so positive ahead of my return, like, I don't remember ever feeling this genuinely positive before. Good.
But, Raleigh has just been me reaching the horizon that I was facing back in January.
Now I've got a whole bunch of other horizons all around me.
Bring them to me.
All of them.
Pura Vida!
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